I've been living in Lennoxville/Sherbrooke for two years now, and in 11 days, I'll be leaving it behind. That's a conscious decision that I made, but I think it's necessary for me to question why I always choose--have always chosen--to jump into exciting but potentially uncomfortable ventures. In my head, I often justify it by reasoning that we cannot ever be the best version of ourselves without first challenging the person we are, but between you and me, that's probably bull. There's something reassuring about first impressions. Not only with people, but with places, too. I've never set foot in England, so I know nothing and have seen nothing, but there's hardly a place in Lennoxville that is not already tainted, or affected by some past memory. I can't walk into Provigo without being unconsciously affected by how I've felt when I was there, or who I was there with. Anyway, I feel as if I'm rambling, but that essentially sums it up. Seeking the new seems to basically be seeking for a refresh in the perception of the self. In a new place, with new people, I can be someone that is not impaired by the person I was before.
Preparation is going smoothly--well, as smoothly as anything pertaining to organization might go with me. I have a suitcase now. I'mma put some things in it. I've been spending my days looking for places to sleep or a place to work, but I've had very minimal success thus far. I'm secretly happy about that because I relish not having a plan (cut to future me reading this and wanting to stab present me in the spleen).
I realize a disproportionate amount of this entry was not about anything concrete, but I've not gone anywhere yet, so bear with me.
I like the notion of going to a country whose origins date back thousands of years in an effort to experience something new. Encounters with the old are a big part of what made England interesting for me. I recognize, however, that you're speaking of new-to-you, rather than new-to-the-world (although there's a fair amount of that in England too) so in that respect I think you will find what you are looking for.
ReplyDeleteYou are neither the first, nor will you be the last person to leap out of Lennoxville, feeling that the next thing could not come soon enough. It is important to move into new things, but I also think there is a significance to not viewing past selves as burdens. Every minute that goes by you judge with new eyes, and the standards you hold today fit into a different context than the one you lived yesterday. I don't believe that we should never regret or look back negatively, because those actions have values, but it's sad to let a place become forever tainted by actions that have passed and cannot be changed.
I have more thinks on that, but I'll leave it there for now. I look forward to reading more of your reflections on the road.